Sunday, November 6, 2011

The lesson in death (even though it blows nuts)

Actually, the lesson seriously blows a big ol donkey dick.  There's no other way to put it.

I'd rather still have one of my childhood friends around and NOT learn the lesson than vice versa.

The story:  October 19th, 2011, a very good friend named Jessie passed away.  Leaving a wife and a 1 1/2 year old son behind.  It was an unfortunate and tragic accident that left many of us asking "Why God WHY?!?!"

And over the past three weeks, I've kept asking that question.  I've started to doubt my faith (which has only happened 4 times in my life), I've stopped asking God WHY, and just stopped the conversation.  I didn't want to talk with God OR know the reason why.  I wasn't ready to hear the lesson or even accept it...  Until yesterday after Jessie's memorial.

At the memorial, I ran into many people I haven't spoken to since high school.  10+ years and I thought that leaving all those people behind was a good thing.  Well....  Kinda.  I would say for every 40 people I saw who I wanted to see again, I saw 1 I didn't.  All in all, about 7 people from school who I could care less about and the rest who I was happy to see again.  Even though the circumstance made the meeting bittersweet.

Yesterday, I shed a lot of tears.  I hugged many friends who I hadn't seen in a long time.  I took down countless phone numbers of people who I had lost touch with.  And then....  The stories about Jessie started flowing, the laughter became louder, and the memories came rushing back.

And then My phone vibrated telling me someone had commented on my question:  Struggling a little bit with faith 2 day. why does god grant miracles for some and not for others?  My cousin Heidi responded with this:
Heidi Keen Hazelwood: Favor ain't Fair. Those that are called to be with the Lord are favored. Remember "weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning"(Psalm 30:5) be strong and stay encouraged-all prayers are answered in God's way-not our own. Hugs

Here are some other responses I got yesterday:

even if the lesson is just to hug more often and tell people each day you love them, there is a lesson, I swear.

there's a lesson in everything, even the really, really, really bad :( Some day we can look back and say, I was stronger because of this and my faith grew. Tits up kid, love ya!

We only get to see the present. Fortunately, He knows (and holds) the future. The miracle ur praying for may inhibit His future sucks but is also just His way of allowing us to NOT carry the burden, but let Him do it!

SO, what did I learn?  What was the lesson?  How does this all make sense?  in school, Jessie was my defender.  He stood up for me, he stood up for the underdogs.  He was willing to put his neck on the line to make sure someone else was safe.  He was also very well known for helping people get to know each other....  some of my dearest friends from high school came about because of Jessie.

In Jessie's last gift to the world, his organs were donated to people who needed them to continue living.  In Jessie's death, many others could live.  In Jessie's death, he was able to give the ultimate gift.  He gave life to at least 7 other people.  In his death, I was able to find friends who I had lost touch with.  I was able to talk to people I never thought I would talk to again.  Even after Jessie had left this world, he was still working his magic.

The pain of losing him still hurts.  The pain of knowing the loved ones he left behind hurts.  But I know he's in a better place.  I know it wasn't our will, but it was God's will (that sentence is still hard to accept, but I do).  He brought us all back together, he helped some of us get rid of the animosity that was once there.  He helped us realize that tomorrow is a new day and we should take advantage to hug, kiss, and love on the people we care about.  No one ever died of giving one extra hug or kiss or "I love you".  

SO, let's make sure we don't waste that opportunity and realize that tomorrow is never guaranteed.

1 comment:

  1. Well said, Primo. Live, love and laugh today for tomorrow is not promised. Cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you! Love ya!