Tuesday, September 7, 2010
give the Nice Guy a chance
Something has been bothering me lately... I've been hearing stories of ladies having crappy boyfriends, either just not being around, being unfaithful, abusing them mentally and physically and so on. I also keep hearing and seeing people talk about how they are done with the jerks...
OK, I will bite... What will these ladies do when they find a Nice Guy? Will they toss them aside because suddenly they have a man who is willing to fall madly in love with them? Will they return to the bad boy because of the drama that ensues? is it the "danger" of being hurt mentally or physically by the bad boy? What is it? Really I am lost here!!!!
Let me try to set a few things straight:
the Nice Guy isn't whipped. He is head over heels for the woman he is with.
He isn't the guy who sleeps around and breaks your heart. He's the one who is there to be a shoulder to cry on whenever you need it.
He isn't weak because he isn't aggressive. That's not his style. His style is kind, caring, compassionate, and strong when you need him to be strong. He doesn't care for fighting in any way, however, he will most likely break some dudes neck if he tries to get violent with a lady (any lady for that matter)
What you perceive as clingy is just what he knows as being loving. The "just because starbucks" be brought to you at work.... That's not him trying to keep tabs on you. It's him showing how much he cares in small ways that mean a lot.
His ability to show his affection isn't him being needy, clingy, or whipped. It is a conscious decision to show love regardless of whether it will be reciprocated or not (because lord knows he's done this many times and not even received a thank you)
Lastly, odds are the Nice Guy hasn't had as much dating experience as the bad boy because we aren't interested in a one night stand or a "fling". We want the real thing and more often than not, we are put into the friend category instead of dating material category. So give us the chance to be a boyfriend not just a friend.
These are just a few of the things I've noticed recently. Nice guys have been knocked down, stepped on, dumped on, used and abused, and neglected. Yet we come back for more because we know that the only way to be in a relationship is to jump in with both feet in the deep end and go all out. A relationship that only has half the effort put into it isn't worth it to us. We are all or nothing and the only thing we ask in return is the same effort.
If you are a fellow Nice Guy, what has happened to you in past relationships? Did you choose to stay the nice guy course or not and why?